Saying goodbye

You never think it will happen to you. Death should be quick, peaceful and easy. We sat as a family for hours, hanging out in waiting rooms, entertaining each other, and avoiding the inevitable. Several hours had passed since we tried the jumpstart of my dad's brain cells. At one point my mom asked all of us to go sit in the garden to talk things out. Nothing prepares you to do that. In my heart I knew that my father had died Tuesday morning, and knew that we were left with only his physical being hanging on with our assistance. That did not make discussing it, or wondering if everyone was on the same page with the decision any easier.





The neurologist finally came to see us Thursday afternoon. The results were not good. There were some signs of limited activity, but speech, sight, and other areas were gone. I knew in my heart that this was not what my dad wanted. I had the mishap of being the one in the room with him the last time he had been at the other hospital for surgery while the nurse was in asking questions. He had expressed to her that he did not want a living will, and did not want to be on life support. It was hard to hear at the time, but I don't know that I would have ever been able to live thru the decision we made without hearing that. It was just a little over a month prior to his death.



It was not a decision we made lightly and all of my dad's children had a chance to express their wishes, and we took that, and our faith and decided to let my father go on his own. After that, I had the difficult task of letting his brothers and sisters know of our decision. As hard as it was, they agreed we had made the best decision for him, and let us know we had their support. Each of us children, brothers/sisters/grandchildren/friends that were present took their personal moment to say goodbye.